How we support young people experiencing suicidal thoughts

Hearing a young person say they don’t want to be here, can’t see the point in living or are thinking about suicide can be frightening. Once any immediate risk has been addressed, we can help young people understand what’s brought them to this point and work through the thoughts, feelings and experiences they’re struggling with.

At a glance

Suicidal thoughts can range from thoughts about not wanting to be alive to thinking about ending your life.

They should always be taken seriously, even if a young person appears happier at other times or says they wouldn’t act on them.

Talking openly and directly about suicide does not put the idea into a young person’s mind.

Suicidal thoughts may occur alongside depression, anxiety, trauma, bullying, loss, overwhelming stress or other difficulties – but there is rarely one simple explanation.

Therapy can support young people experiencing suicidal thoughts alongside medical or specialist mental health services.

Questions parents and carers often ask

My child says they don’t want to be alive. What does that mean?

How seriously should I take suicidal thoughts?

Will asking them directly about suicide make things worse?

Why do they seem okay at times if they’re having suicidal thoughts?

What support might they need after a suicide attempt?

Can therapy help if they’re already receiving support from CAMHS or another service?

A closer look at suicidal thoughts

Suicidal thoughts, sometimes called suicidal ideation, can take different forms. A young person may sometimes wish they could disappear, not wake up, feel that life isn’t worth living or think about ending their life.

Thoughts of suicide can also be connected to a wish for overwhelming emotional pain to stop. These thoughts may come and go, or become more persistent during particularly difficult periods. A young person may also find it hard to explain exactly what they mean or how likely they feel they are to act on them.

It’s important to know that not every young person who experiences suicidal thoughts will attempt suicide. Even so, suicidal thoughts should always be taken seriously. They can occur alongside many different experiences:

Emotional distress | Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, shame, feeling overwhelmed or believing that things will never improve.
Relationships and experiences | Bullying, trauma, bereavement, rejection, family difficulties, loneliness or feeling misunderstood or disconnected from other people.
Changes in everyday life | Becoming increasingly withdrawn, losing interest in things that mattered, or finding school, relationships and everyday responsibilities harder to manage.

It’s also important not to assume someone’s safe because they still laugh, see friends, attend school or have periods when they seem more like themselves. Suicidal distress is not always visible from the outside.

a woman sitting on a couch talking to a man

Talking about suicide

Parents and carers often worry that asking directly about suicide might put the idea into their child’s head. It doesn’t.

Being willing to ask and listen can give a young person permission to talk about thoughts they may have been carrying alone. You don’t need to have the perfect response. What matters is taking what they say seriously and getting appropriate help if you’re concerned about their safety.

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How Teenage Mental Health approaches suicidal thoughts

Safety always comes first. Teenage Mental Health is not an emergency or crisis response service, so any immediate risk or a recent suicide attempt must first be assessed by the appropriate emergency or specialist services.

Therapy can then provide a safe, independent place to talk openly about thoughts that may feel frightening, shameful or difficult to share elsewhere. We talk through what’s brought them to the point where life has begun to feel unbearable, looking at the wider picture of their emotional wellbeing, experiences, relationships and what’s changed in their life. This may help them to:

put difficult or overwhelming thoughts and feelings into words
understand experiences or patterns that may be contributing to their distress
recognise situations in which suicidal thoughts become stronger
find safer ways of coping when distress becomes intense
reconnect with relationships, activities or parts of life that matter to them
develop a clearer understanding of what may help them stay safer during difficult periods

How we work depends on the young person. But broadly, our therapists draw on psychodynamic psychotherapy, integrative therapy and CBT-informed approaches.

Where other professionals are involved, and with appropriate agreement, therapy can work alongside GPs, CAMHS, schools, crisis teams or other services as part of the young person’s wider care.

A suicide attempt can have a profound effect on parents, carers and the wider family. The fear that it might happen again can make it difficult to know how much to ask, watch or intervene. Where appropriate, we can help families understand what their child may be experiencing and think about how best to support them while continuing to take safety seriously.

Ultimately, the aim is to help a young person understand what’s brought them to such a difficult point, find safer ways of managing overwhelming distress and begin to feel that things can change.

When extra support may be needed

Get help with support

If your child has attempted suicide, seek immediate medical assessment even if they seem physically well or tell you they’re feeling better.

Any suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously. It’s important to seek professional support, in particular if your child:

talks about wanting to die or end their life
says life isn’t worth living or that other people would be better off without them
becomes increasingly hopeless, withdrawn or unable to cope
appears to be preparing for or expecting their life to end
experiences suicidal thoughts alongside self-harm, severe low mood or other significant mental health difficulties
tells you they don’t think they can keep themselves safe

If you believe your child may be at immediate risk of acting on suicidal thoughts, don’t wait for a routine therapy appointment. Seek urgent medical or emergency support.

Get help with support

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